


it hurts | villain tubbo au

by bonkyboy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: 2020 L'Manberg Election on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), L'Manberg War of Independence on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 12,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28561029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonkyboy/pseuds/bonkyboy
Summary: transferred from my wattpad.Tubbo's sick of Manberg reminding him of Wilbur and Tommy- so what if it all just goes away?
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is obviously a bit of an old book, I made it on wattpad back at the start of November so yeah, just enjoy it anyway 

The clock seemed to be ticking so slowly. Every second was feeling like a minute at this point. It had been a long wait since the election ballots had opened, 13 days to be exact. Now, after that wait the people of L'manburg would finally hear the results of the election that had been held for their great country. The runners were definitely an interesting bunch, those being Pog2020, Swag2020, Coconut2020 and Schlatt2020. I myself didn't want to enter, I didn't see myself as a fitting option for president of L'manburg, I only saw Wilbur and Tommy as the options. I trusted both of them to lead our great country, because I only knew the country under their rule. It was fun under their rule. I didn't want that to change.

My thoughts were interrupted by a tapping of the microphone up on the stage which had been especially made for the election. It was time for the results. I looked up to the stage and saw Wilbur standing next to the microphone with a sheet of paper in hand, the rest of the candidates were on the stage with him, waiting to hear the results, too. "Good morning everyone, welcome," Wilbur started, "we're all here, anticipating the results I assume, so I'm going to make this quick." He glanced up at the people in the crowd for a moment before turning his eyes back to his page. "I'd like to start from the least amount of votes, to the highest. So at that in fourth place we have... Coconut2020 with 9% of the vote." Despite coming so far behind, Fundy and Niki still celebrated that they had even got votes. Wilbur started speaking again as Coconut's celebrations stopped, "Then in third place we have... Schlatt2020 with 16% of the vote." Schlatt didn't seem to celebrate as much as the previous party did, he still seemed to be waiting. There were no cheers, no hoorays, just silence. Wilbur moved on quickly, "In second place we have...." Wilbur paused for a while for what I hoped was dramatic effect, "Swag2020 with 30% of the vote so that means in first place is Pog2020 with 45% of the vote." Wilbur seemed to finish with a happy tone and Tommy started cheering loudly, Wilbur trying to quiet him down. "However, before the votes started Swag2020 and Schlatt2020 agreed to combine their votes and join their parties together and so that makes the combination party of Swag2020 and Schlatt2020 first place with... 46% of the popular vote." Wilbur announced with a look of what seemed to be fear on his face. Fear for what? The loss of his power or what would be done with his power? I didn't know.

Wilbur and Tommy walked off the stage and into seats near me, because it was time to hear Schlatt's first decree as president of L'manburg. They seemed anxious, I was too, admittedly, but maybe having Schlatt in charge would spice things up around here? Hopefully. Schlatt was walking slowly to the microphone, it seemed this had been what he had been waiting for when his results had been announced, he'd been waiting for the victory he knew he'd gotten from the moment Coconut2020 had fallen below him. Schlatt tapped the microphone, flicking one of his goat ears in the process. "Well, that was easy." The man stated, seeming very proud of himself indeed. "Y'know the first thing I said when I got unbanned from this nation, the day I joined this election, this election that I won. I said that things were gonna change. I told every single one of you that this place would be a lot different tomorrow, so let's start making this place different. My first decree as the president- no- emperor- of this great country is to revoke-" Revoke what? I thought staring up at this man on the podium, I didn't feel like Schlatt being president was a good thing anymore, this was definitely bad. "the citizenships of Wilbur Soot, and TommyInnit." My eyes widened, further than I thought was possible, I looked over at Wilbur and Tommy, they seemed as shocked as I was before they were gone, running away, for their lives. I pondered running too, but I couldn't. My citizenship wasn't revoked. I had to stay.

The man on the stage turned his attention to me. "Get up here Tubbo." He demanded me, I didn't want to, but I had to obey and I walked up to the podium, trying to keep as much distance as I could before Schlatt beckoned me closer. "You're my Secretary of State, you know that? I couldn't get rid of you Tubbo-" Schlatt turned to face the crowd "C'mon y'know I love this guy!" I laughed nervously before Schlatt turned back to me. "Tubbo I'm gonna have to ask you something, something I need you to do for me, ok?" I nodded reluctantly. "What is it, Schlatt?" I asked. "I'm gonna need you to find Tommy, and I'm gonna need you to show him the door." I stared at Schlatt for a moment before looking at the crowd, a sword was placed into my hand and I knew I had no choice but to... show Tommy the door. 

I left the stage and started walking aimlessly into the wilderness. I didn't want to find Tommy. Well, I did want to find Tommy, but I didn't want to end up having to kill him. If I found him, we'd just pretend we didn't see him. I found some... nice places while 'searching' for Tommy, it was nice to just relax at them for a break at some points and just... think. Think about what had happened not too long ago. How yesterday was so different to today. How the future would be. It was all too much for me, this much shouldn't be put on a kid's shoulders, especially not his best friend's life. Just before I got up to continue wandering, I got a call from Tommy and Wilbur, I answered, of course. They asked me to spy for them, because they could trust me. They wanted me to spy for them in L'manburg, and tell them any information that they could use to take it back. This... might work, I thought to myself before starting to walk home, barely aware of where home was though. 


	2. Chapter 2

I made it home by the time the sun rose in the morning, I was tired, my legs ached and I just felt all out numb, whether it was grief or the cold I couldn't tell. I reached the podium as Schlatt was walking back up on to it for another one of his amazing decrees, I imagined. I sat down in a seat near the back and I pretty much fell asleep as soon as I did so, I only woke up when I felt nudging on my shoulder. I glanced around and saw Schlatt looking at me expectantly. "S...sorry I fell asleep." I admitted. "I said, did you take care of Tommy like I asked you to?" Schlatt repeated, seeming a little angry. "No mr president, I didn't. I was searching all night but I couldn't find them." Schlatt just rolled his eyes at me and asked nothing else of me and so I fell back asleep. I woke up just as the speech was ending and heard something about walls. The walls? Why were they important? I looked towards the walls to see if something was wrong with them and... something was definitely wrong. They were being taken down. Was Schlatt just getting rid of L'manburg? Weren't they the walls that kept this nation separate from the Dream SMP?

I had no choice but to join in with tearing the walls down, if I didn't then surely Schlatt would suspect me of being a spy, right? I took out my pickaxe and hit the first block again and again until it broke into little pieces. I grabbed one of the pieces and pocketed it before destroying more blocks from the walls. This was painful, both physically and emotionally. How could Schlatt make us destroy these walls..? These sacred, sacred walls. The walls that made L'manburg... L'manburg.

The walls were completely gone come sunset, pieces of it lay strewn across the ground and it seemed like a mini rockfall had occurred here. My body now decided to remind me how tired we were from the night before, nevermind now that we'd spent the day mining down the walls. I put my pickaxe away and started walking along the prime path towards Tommy's house. I had decided I would sleep there tonight because, after all, Tommy wouldn't be there to kick me out, and maybe it would be nice to sleep there. Just one more time. As I walked along the path I looked at all the things that would remind me of before. The reverse coaster, Tommy's Pog2020 sign which, from behind, looked like it said 'OSOSGOP', the bench where Tommy and I would listen to music discs and then finally, I reached Tommy's house. I walked through the doorway and through the next door where Tommy's bed was, I sat down on it and stared around the room until my eyes found the small railroad that lead out of the room to the little house that held Tommy's pet cow, Henry. The openness of the exit was... scary to me. Somebody could easily walk in and... kill me in my sleep. Why didn't this ever bother Tommy? I got up quickly to search around for something to temporarily cover the hole with for tonight, I found some random blocks of wool and then placed them in front of the hole, before climbing myself into the bed and falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. 


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up far too early for my liking, I was confused as to where I was before I remembered I was in Tommy's house. And Tommy wasn't here. I sat up in the bed and realised I hadn't even taken my shoes off, I must have been so tired last night, my god. I got up and made the bed neat and tidy and then started looking for a shirt small enough to fit me around here, so I didn't have to keep wearing this all day at least. I ended up finding an older shirt (white and red as always for Tommy) that wasn't exactly hanging off of me. I replaced my old shirt with this one and just tucked it into my trousers to neaten it up a bit. Since I had no plans for today, unless Schlatt gave me anything, I decided to visit Henry in the house that Tommy had built for him. I destroyed the wool I had placed by the exit the night before and placed a minecart down on the tracks before sitting in it and started the small trip to the cabin.

I stopped at the cabin after around five minutes. I stepped out of the little iron box, picked it up and walked in the door. I greeted Henry with a pat on the head and the cow greeted the attention warmly by licking my hand, I smiled a little. I grabbed some wheat out of the chest and sat down, feeding the cow. I wondered if Henry knew this was some of the last attention he'd be getting for a while, seeing as Tommy was gone. I wondered if Henry knew Tommy was gone. I decided to take Henry for a little walk, so he could stretch his legs out before staying in the house for a while. I grabbed his face harness and attached the leash to it and guided the cow to the door, letting him walk out before me. We started walking in one direction for about ten minutes before turning back, I climbed on to Henry's back about a minute away from the house and sat on him the whole way back, just so I could experience it.

I left Henry in the house as I made my way back to Tommy's by minecart. When I reached his house I left the mine cart in a chest and decided to leave a small note for Tommy if he decided to show up here and noticed some stuff out of place. I wrote out :

Hey Tommy! Sorry, but I stayed here last night and I may have mixed some stuff up- sorry about that! Please don't be mad. -Tubbo.

Perfect, I suppose. I walked outside of Tommy's house and went to sit on the bench where he and I listened to music discs, I didn't play a disc though. I just pulled out my phone and mindlessly swiped through various apps until I received a text from Eret. 

'Schlatt's holding another announcement thing tonight, you should be there.'

'Sure will, thanks Eret.'

I sighed to myself, I was getting tired of all these meetings, especially since something bad always happened at them. At least I had some time to kill before the meeting. Should I call Tommy? I should call Tommy. I pulled up the phone option on my phone and clicked on Tommy's contact. The call noise started playing and playing until finally it ended when Tommy picked up.

"Hi Tommy. How are you doing?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't ask it back, but it was still nice to say, because I knew asking that question could make somebody's day a whole lot better.

"I'm good Tubbo..." Tommy started, "How was your day?" He then asked, surprisingly.

"I'm doing very good Tommy. I miss you a lot. Like, a lot."

"Yeah, I miss you too, Tubbo. Lots."

"I assume you've heard the walls are gone? I had to help take them down yesterday after looking you for the whole day before. It was painful."

"...Yeah I saw. It's sad that all we worked for is gone isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is. Especially after you gave up your discs for it."

We continued talking about anything and everything until it was almost time for the meeting. I mentioned the meeting to Tommy and told him I'd tell him and Wilbur what happened as soon as I could, then I had to hang up the phone. I felt lonely again. That conversation was probably the best thing that would happen for a while.

I made my way to the podium again via the prime path and took a seat. I was one of the only people here, because I was early. I sat staring into space for a while until people started to take their own seats and the meeting started. Schlatt stared at where the walls used to stand for a moment before facing the crowd. "Looks great doesn't it? It's gone, we have finally removed the cage that held this great nation back- the cage that kept this nation small. Y'know what I think? I think we need to change this place up a little more. I think in- in honour of... removing all the bad things that plagued this country, we should rename this, L'manburg to; Manburg. We take no L's here." Schlatt announced from his... his high podium. Shocking. I was certainly taken by surprise by the renaming of L'manburg. This place really is changing, isn't it? Come next week... will I even recognise it? Some of the people in the crowd gave negative feedback, but I didn't feel like creating a scene. It wouldn't be worth it.

The meeting ended at that. Manburg, eh? Doesn't have the same ring to it as L'manburg did- the 'L' gave it personality. I got up from my seat and started to wander through what used to be contained inside the walls of what used to be L'manburg. There was the camarvan, where all of us had hid in the war. I remembered Tommy stepped outside the van and he got shot by Sapnap, it was scary. Now the van was basically in ruin- random blocks everywhere and you'd probably never think it was ever a van where they had sold... hto dogs. I looked around more and found the hole in the ground where Eret had led them with promises of safety before betraying them. I wouldn't ever forgive Eret for that- but he was a nice guy, really. He just did what he had to do. I remembered how scary it was in that small box under the ground, opening the chests to see nothing in them and then the walls opening, them rushing in and being stabbed by Sapnap. It hurt. A lot. A lot of things hurt back then, I suppose I've just gotten used to the pain by now. 


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up far too early for my liking, I was confused as to where I was before I remembered I was in Tommy's house. And Tommy wasn't here. I sat up in the bed and realised I hadn't even taken my shoes off, I must have been so tired last night, my god. I got up and made the bed neat and tidy and then started looking for a shirt small enough to fit me around here, so I didn't have to keep wearing this all day at least. I ended up finding an older shirt (white and red as always for Tommy) that wasn't exactly hanging off of me. I replaced my old shirt with this one and just tucked it into my trousers to neaten it up a bit. Since I had no plans for today, unless Schlatt gave me anything, I decided to visit Henry in the house that Tommy had built for him. I destroyed the wool I had placed by the exit the night before and placed a minecart down on the tracks before sitting in it and started the small trip to the cabin.

I stopped at the cabin after around five minutes. I stepped out of the little iron box, picked it up and walked in the door. I greeted Henry with a pat on the head and the cow greeted the attention warmly by licking my hand, I smiled a little. I grabbed some wheat out of the chest and sat down, feeding the cow. I wondered if Henry knew this was some of the last attention he'd be getting for a while, seeing as Tommy was gone. I wondered if Henry knew Tommy was gone. I decided to take Henry for a little walk, so he could stretch his legs out before staying in the house for a while. I grabbed his face harness and attached the leash to it and guided the cow to the door, letting him walk out before me. We started walking in one direction for about ten minutes before turning back, I climbed on to Henry's back about a minute away from the house and sat on him the whole way back, just so I could experience it.

I left Henry in the house as I made my way back to Tommy's by minecart. When I reached his house I left the mine cart in a chest and decided to leave a small note for Tommy if he decided to show up here and noticed some stuff out of place. I wrote out :

Hey Tommy! Sorry, but I stayed here last night and I may have mixed some stuff up- sorry about that! Please don't be mad. -Tubbo.

Perfect, I suppose. I walked outside of Tommy's house and went to sit on the bench where he and I listened to music discs, I didn't play a disc though. I just pulled out my phone and mindlessly swiped through various apps until I received a text from Eret. 

'Schlatt's holding another announcement thing tonight, you should be there.'

'Sure will, thanks Eret.'

I sighed to myself, I was getting tired of all these meetings, especially since something bad always happened at them. At least I had some time to kill before the meeting. Should I call Tommy? I should call Tommy. I pulled up the phone option on my phone and clicked on Tommy's contact. The call noise started playing and playing until finally it ended when Tommy picked up.

"Hi Tommy. How are you doing?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't ask it back, but it was still nice to say, because I knew asking that question could make somebody's day a whole lot better.

"I'm good Tubbo..." Tommy started, "How was your day?" He then asked, surprisingly.

"I'm doing very good Tommy. I miss you a lot. Like, a lot."

"Yeah, I miss you too, Tubbo. Lots."

"I assume you've heard the walls are gone? I had to help take them down yesterday after looking you for the whole day before. It was painful."

"...Yeah I saw. It's sad that all we worked for is gone isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is. Especially after you gave up your discs for it."

We continued talking about anything and everything until it was almost time for the meeting. I mentioned the meeting to Tommy and told him I'd tell him and Wilbur what happened as soon as I could, then I had to hang up the phone. I felt lonely again. That conversation was probably the best thing that would happen for a while.

I made my way to the podium again via the prime path and took a seat. I was one of the only people here, because I was early. I sat staring into space for a while until people started to take their own seats and the meeting started. Schlatt stared at where the walls used to stand for a moment before facing the crowd. "Looks great doesn't it? It's gone, we have finally removed the cage that held this great nation back- the cage that kept this nation small. Y'know what I think? I think we need to change this place up a little more. I think in- in honour of... removing all the bad things that plagued this country, we should rename this, L'manburg to; Manburg. We take no L's here." Schlatt announced from his... his high podium. Shocking. I was certainly taken by surprise by the renaming of L'manburg. This place really is changing, isn't it? Come next week... will I even recognise it? Some of the people in the crowd gave negative feedback, but I didn't feel like creating a scene. It wouldn't be worth it.

The meeting ended at that. Manburg, eh? Doesn't have the same ring to it as L'manburg did- the 'L' gave it personality. I got up from my seat and started to wander through what used to be contained inside the walls of what used to be L'manburg. There was the camarvan, where all of us had hid in the war. I remembered Tommy stepped outside the van and he got shot by Sapnap, it was scary. Now the van was basically in ruin- random blocks everywhere and you'd probably never think it was ever a van where they had sold... hto dogs. I looked around more and found the hole in the ground where Eret had led them with promises of safety before betraying them. I wouldn't ever forgive Eret for that- but he was a nice guy, really. He just did what he had to do. I remembered how scary it was in that small box under the ground, opening the chests to see nothing in them and then the walls opening, them rushing in and being stabbed by Sapnap. It hurt. A lot. A lot of things hurt back then, I suppose I've just gotten used to the pain by now. 


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up far too early for my liking, I was confused as to where I was before I remembered I was in Tommy's house. And Tommy wasn't here. I sat up in the bed and realised I hadn't even taken my shoes off, I must have been so tired last night, my god. I got up and made the bed neat and tidy and then started looking for a shirt small enough to fit me around here, so I didn't have to keep wearing this all day at least. I ended up finding an older shirt (white and red as always for Tommy) that wasn't exactly hanging off of me. I replaced my old shirt with this one and just tucked it into my trousers to neaten it up a bit. Since I had no plans for today, unless Schlatt gave me anything, I decided to visit Henry in the house that Tommy had built for him. I destroyed the wool I had placed by the exit the night before and placed a minecart down on the tracks before sitting in it and started the small trip to the cabin.

I stopped at the cabin after around five minutes. I stepped out of the little iron box, picked it up and walked in the door. I greeted Henry with a pat on the head and the cow greeted the attention warmly by licking my hand, I smiled a little. I grabbed some wheat out of the chest and sat down, feeding the cow. I wondered if Henry knew this was some of the last attention he'd be getting for a while, seeing as Tommy was gone. I wondered if Henry knew Tommy was gone. I decided to take Henry for a little walk, so he could stretch his legs out before staying in the house for a while. I grabbed his face harness and attached the leash to it and guided the cow to the door, letting him walk out before me. We started walking in one direction for about ten minutes before turning back, I climbed on to Henry's back about a minute away from the house and sat on him the whole way back, just so I could experience it.

I left Henry in the house as I made my way back to Tommy's by minecart. When I reached his house I left the mine cart in a chest and decided to leave a small note for Tommy if he decided to show up here and noticed some stuff out of place. I wrote out :

Hey Tommy! Sorry, but I stayed here last night and I may have mixed some stuff up- sorry about that! Please don't be mad. -Tubbo.

Perfect, I suppose. I walked outside of Tommy's house and went to sit on the bench where he and I listened to music discs, I didn't play a disc though. I just pulled out my phone and mindlessly swiped through various apps until I received a text from Eret. 

'Schlatt's holding another announcement thing tonight, you should be there.'

'Sure will, thanks Eret.'

I sighed to myself, I was getting tired of all these meetings, especially since something bad always happened at them. At least I had some time to kill before the meeting. Should I call Tommy? I should call Tommy. I pulled up the phone option on my phone and clicked on Tommy's contact. The call noise started playing and playing until finally it ended when Tommy picked up.

"Hi Tommy. How are you doing?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't ask it back, but it was still nice to say, because I knew asking that question could make somebody's day a whole lot better.

"I'm good Tubbo..." Tommy started, "How was your day?" He then asked, surprisingly.

"I'm doing very good Tommy. I miss you a lot. Like, a lot."

"Yeah, I miss you too, Tubbo. Lots."

"I assume you've heard the walls are gone? I had to help take them down yesterday after looking you for the whole day before. It was painful."

"...Yeah I saw. It's sad that all we worked for is gone isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is. Especially after you gave up your discs for it."

We continued talking about anything and everything until it was almost time for the meeting. I mentioned the meeting to Tommy and told him I'd tell him and Wilbur what happened as soon as I could, then I had to hang up the phone. I felt lonely again. That conversation was probably the best thing that would happen for a while.

I made my way to the podium again via the prime path and took a seat. I was one of the only people here, because I was early. I sat staring into space for a while until people started to take their own seats and the meeting started. Schlatt stared at where the walls used to stand for a moment before facing the crowd. "Looks great doesn't it? It's gone, we have finally removed the cage that held this great nation back- the cage that kept this nation small. Y'know what I think? I think we need to change this place up a little more. I think in- in honour of... removing all the bad things that plagued this country, we should rename this, L'manburg to; Manburg. We take no L's here." Schlatt announced from his... his high podium. Shocking. I was certainly taken by surprise by the renaming of L'manburg. This place really is changing, isn't it? Come next week... will I even recognise it? Some of the people in the crowd gave negative feedback, but I didn't feel like creating a scene. It wouldn't be worth it.

The meeting ended at that. Manburg, eh? Doesn't have the same ring to it as L'manburg did- the 'L' gave it personality. I got up from my seat and started to wander through what used to be contained inside the walls of what used to be L'manburg. There was the camarvan, where all of us had hid in the war. I remembered Tommy stepped outside the van and he got shot by Sapnap, it was scary. Now the van was basically in ruin- random blocks everywhere and you'd probably never think it was ever a van where they had sold... hto dogs. I looked around more and found the hole in the ground where Eret had led them with promises of safety before betraying them. I wouldn't ever forgive Eret for that- but he was a nice guy, really. He just did what he had to do. I remembered how scary it was in that small box under the ground, opening the chests to see nothing in them and then the walls opening, them rushing in and being stabbed by Sapnap. It hurt. A lot. A lot of things hurt back then, I suppose I've just gotten used to the pain by now. 


	6. Chapter 6

I don't really remember much of last night. I don't feel like remembering either. My last memory is being in the control room after the meeting. However I am not in the control room. I'm on the bench. It seems I slept on the bench, too. I pulled out my phone and the battery was dead- I swear I had it on full battery last I checked. Well, I'd need to charge it to find out what the fuck I was doing on it last night for the battery to have died so I got up and walked over to Tommy's house, surely he'd have a phone charger of all things. I searched for a while and finally found one under a pile of clothes on the floor and plugged my phone into it, I waited for it to charge a bit and then turned it on to check what I did. After a while I found a long call with Tommy, that must have been it, I must have been telling him about the meeting. I then found a text from him.

I read the message over a couple times, there were numbers, were they coordinates? Even further, were those the coordinates of where Tommy was hiding? I decided they were in fact coordinates and got ready to go to that place. It didn't seem that it was all that far away, in fact I was rather sure it was just past Eret's tower. I started my walk to the location, trying to remember the surrounding area so I could get back here easier next time. When I got there there was a small hole in the ground with a horse in it, there's no way this wasn't the right place, otherwise somebody forgot their horse. I looked around, unsure of where to go next when I heard noises from in the dirt beside me. "Hello?" I called out and the noise stopped, then the dirt was taken down in part of the wall and I saw Wilbur looking at me. "Hello Tubbo. Come in, quickly please." The tall man said to me and I followed him in and he placed the dirt back behind me then led me down a staircase into a ravine. I looked around it, amazed at how in only a couple days they'd managed to turn a ravine into a home, it looked so cool. We reached the bottom of the staircase and there was a hole that lead to room with what seemed to be a potato farm, Technoblade and Tommy were planting them- Technoblade? Since when was Technoblade here? Wilbur grabbed me by the shoulder and I turned to look at him. "Tubbo I wanna know if you can do this- is there a way for you to make a system where we can like when the potatoes are grown we can press a lever that will pick them with water and then the potatoes will fall into hoppers that will cook them so we can just have- unlimited food?" Wilbur asked me, I thought for a second and I realised he was talking about a super smelter. "Oh yeah! That's rather easy actually." I explained how I would do it to him and what I would need and he went to get them for me. While I waited I walked over to Tommy and Techno to help plant the potatoes. Tommy looked up when he heard me walking over and he noticeable looked happier, he walked over to me and hugged me quite tightly. I hugged back, I'd missed him a lot. "You're wearing one of my shirts, Tubbo." Tommy observed, I nodded a little. "Yeah, I am," I confessed "Wouldn't want to get my own shirts dirty planting potatoes, would I?" I questioned. Of course the actual reason I was wearing his shirt wasn't for planting potatoes, but I knew it'd piss him off a bit if I said it was. 

Techno, Tommy and I planted potatoes until Wilbur came back with the stuff I needed for the smelter. Tommy and I had been speaking the whole time and yet I don't think Techno had said a single word, oh well. I didn't know Technoblade very well anyway so I don't think I would have been able to hold any form of conversation with him. I started building the smelter that Wilbur had asked me to make for him and by the time I'd finished I was alone in the potato farm, the rest of them having left to sleep. Tommy had tried to get me to rest before he left, but I wanted to finish this in as little time as possible. I tested the machine and it worked, the potatoes fell into the hoppers and after flipping the lever again, the water resided back into the dispensers. Perfect. But now I had to replant the potatoes. I got a couple potatoes planted before I got too tired to continue. I didn't want to sleep in the ravine because it was cold, especially with the dampness of the soil on my clothes I climbed up the staircase of the ravine, destroyed the dirt at the top and then replaced it after I walked through. I made my way back past Eret's tower and down towards the podium to find it burning. Fun. I ignored the fire so close to me and just hopped on to the prime path and walked to the entrance of my bunker, going down through it and to my little library home a ways down it. Before going to sleep I cleaned the dirt off of my clothes. Then I lay in my bed, thinking about how today was... good. Today was fun. I saw Tommy. I saw Wilbur. It almost felt like before. Then I fell asleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

Waking up aware of where I was was actually a strange feeling this morning. The past few days I had been falling asleep all over the place, so this was a pleasant awakening. I got out of the bed and wandered around the house for a bit before putting back on Tommy's shirt which I had cleaned the night before. I had to admit- it's a very comfortable shirt. I didn't have any plans today, as usual, so I decided to just walk around... Manburg seeing if anybody needed any help with anything. 

There were a few small tasks I completed, but nothing that actually consumed any time. That's all I wanted- something to pass time yet there was nothing. I thought about things I could do to make Manburg a nicer sight on your eyes and that brought the idea of just cleaning it. Yeah, that's good. I started at the burnt remains of the podium, just sorting as much rubble as I could into sorted piles of what could be disposed of easily and what would be a little harder to get rid of. I hadn't planned this through very well though, as quickly my hands started bleeding from little screws and glass pieces laced throughout the debris. It took about twenty minutes to sort things out and I went over to my 'easy to dispose of' pile and started burning it, as most of the things in here were flammable things the fire just didn't get last night. Once the things had finished burning I spread the ashes through the surrounding grass, as that would fertilise the soil as well as dispose of the ash conveniently. I came to the 'harder to dispose of' pile and was really stumped. This was mostly composed of glass and metal, which I couldn't just burn or throw away. After thinking for a while, I just left it, it'd be fine. I started cleaning random areas around Manburg, nowhere specific, just anywhere that was a little dirty. 

By the time I had finished the sun had set and it was cold, I was cold. I walked to the seats below where the podium used to be and sat on one of them. I didn't want to go home yet, even though it was cold it was a very beautiful night. The stars were so visible that you could almost make out every single one of them, the moon was bright and there were some streaks of orange painting the black sky where the sun wasn't quite fully gone yet. While staring at the sky I felt somebody walk up and sit on the chair beside me. "Hey, Tubbo." I heard the familiar voice of Wilbur's son, Fundy, say to me. I nodded in response, it's not a good response, but at least it recognises I heard him so he doesn't have to repeat himself. The fox observed me for a moment before speaking up once more "You miss them don't you? I do too." I understood he was clearly talking about the fact I was wearing Tommy's shirt, to me that's a very clear sign you miss someone- wearing their clothes. I nodded in answer again. Up until now I'd just not really felt anything about them being gone, it was more of a... 'you have to just deal with it' situation, but now that Fundy was here sharing the same grief, especially since it was his father that was gone, I felt more like I could feel my emotions and not be, well, judged; because he's feeling the same way. Thinking about it made the emotions finally spill out of the bottle they'd been held in and I felt tears welling at my eyes. I turned to the fox and hugged him tightly, crying into his shoulder. "I miss them so fucking much, Fundy." Fundy hugged me back, the grip was consoling and I felt a lot better now that the bottle was empty, ready to be filled again.

Fundy and I let go of each other after what definitely felt like too long, but at least I felt better now. "Thanks Fundy, I-I needed that." I said to him, wiping my eyes dry. Fundy just shrugged before standing up. "Y'know what make me feel better, Tubbo?" Fundy asked me, I shook my head. "Getting rid of the problem directly... and right now my problem is remembering." That seemed very threatening to me, but I doubted Fundy was going to hurt me. Fundy turned his gaze to the flag of L'manburg that Niki had built, I followed his gaze to it. "That thing is causing so much problems to me. I need to let it go." The fox confessed, taking out a flint and steel. Oh fuck. I thought, realising Fundy was going to burn the flag, though I really didn't want to stop him. Something told me deep down that this was a good thing. I didn't know why it was good. But it was. Fundy handed me the flint and steel and looked back at me, smiling. "I want you to burn it, see if it'll feel as good for you as it does for me." Fundy explained, patting me on the shoulder. I stood up from the seat, walking slowly towards the flag. When I reached the base of, I stared up at it, it was waving gently in the breeze. It won't be waving in a few minutes. I thought, already set on burning it like Fundy had asked. I knew he would burn it anyway if I didn't- so I may as well do it. I crouched down to reach the very base of the flag and set the wood alight. The fire spread quickly up the pole and I stood back next to the fox to just watch. He was right. It did feel good. This was good. I smiled, giggling a little. "You're right, it does feel good to get rid of the problem directly." I mentioned before going to sit down to watch it all burn down to the last piece.

Fundy left long before the flag had finished burning, but I stayed the whole time. However, the entire time my mind begged me to get out of there, after all, burning the flag was most definitely a crime, but what would be the point in burning it therapeutically, if not to stay around for the therapeutic part? I walked over to the ashes of the flag and rubbed the flint and steel in it in an attempt to remove Fundy and I's fingerprints from it, then I just threw the item behind me as hard as I could. I then walked back home to sleep for the rest of the night. 


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up feeling the best I had felt in so long. An empty bottle of feelings went a long way, didn't it? Tackling the problem directly by burning the flag went a long way too. I sat up on my bed and checked my phone. Huh, that's a lot of missed calls. There were a few texts too, so I went to read those instead of returning the calls. A few about the flag being missing and- oh, apparently I missed a meeting while I was sleeping. I decided to message Fundy asking about the meeting, because if I messaged anyone else I'd have to get soppy about the flag, however Fundy knew I did it, so I wouldn't have to.

"I overslept, mind telling me roughly what happened at that meeting? If it's important, that is."

"Not much happened, really. There was mostly just Schlatt trying to find out who burned the flag, so I'd watch out for him later. He also announced we'd be having a festival to celebrate Manburg in a few days."

A festival, huh? That could end up being fun.

"Oh cool! Thanks for telling me, and I'll be sure to watch out for Schlatt."

I text back before placing my phone back down and deciding to actually get out of bed. I wanted to wear to most comfortable clothes I could today, usually I tried to stay presentable, but at this point all I wanted was comfort. I decided to keep Tommy's shirt on but put a white hoodie over it, then just some black jeans. I then left my house and walked through the tunnel that led back into Manberg and climbed up on to the ground above. A thought occurred to me then, how did Schlatt give an announcement when the podium was burnt? I went to go check it out and found that a new one had been built, this time out of stone so that it could not be burnt. The worst part was it looked good. I had decided last night after burning the flag that I didn't want this place to look good, because if it looked good then it would make people like it and then it would have to stay. I didn't want Manberg to stay. I would rather have no home than a home that doesn't feel like home.

There were already people setting up for the festival, and I decided to help Karl. He was building a dunk tank, which looked rather fun. "Hey Karl, mind if I help you out with this?" I asked him in greeting. The boy gave me a small wave and stood up. "Yeah that'd be great! Could you maybe fetch some glass and water for the actual tank bit?" He asked me, I nodded and headed back to my house to get a bucket, and to see if I had any glass or sand laying around. After getting a bucket and not being successful in finding either of the other things, I grabbed a furnace and headed back to Karl. While I was walking I observed the other people setting up. They looked like they were having fun and I didn't like it. Was Schlatt actually making Manburg good? But... he's a bad guy. He's THE bad guy, right? I kept thinking about this until I actually reached Karl. I placed my furnace down and then headed down to the nearby river to get the water and some sand from the bank. I set the water down beside the furnace and put the sand in it to smelt. While I was waiting for it to finish, Karl asked me what was wrong, I guess I had a troubled look on my face or something. I dismissed him saying it was nothing but he seemed to not believe me. The sand finished smelting after what felt like an awkward eternity, I placed it down where Karl told me to and then I poured the water in the top. We tried testing it with me as the test subject, I stood on the wool at the top and Karl stepped back with a bow to shoot the button. He hit it and the wool drew back and I fell in. Karl laughed a bit "You're stuck now!" he pointed out and I looked up, surely enough the wool had gone back over the hole I had fallen through. Karl didn't let me out, though, I knew he was going to let me die, because I'd come back, so it wouldn't matter. But it did matter. Because it hurts.

I respawned in my bed. Respawning was weird, it felt like when you dream about spending a whole day doing things and then you wake up to find out you had been dreaming, but waking up from a dream didn't hurt. This did. My lungs felt like they were burning and I coughed a bit before getting ready to walk back and get my stuff. I walked up to Karl, a clear pissed off expression on my face. "That wasn't funny, Karl Jacobs." I said, picking up all my stuff and sitting down on the ground to collect myself. He seemed apologetic, but I ignored him, he could have at least let me out before I died, then it might have actually been funny.

Karl and I built a few more things around the place, staying silent the whole time. Good. I didn't want to talk. It was only when I was building small little stands near the seats at the podium did I notice that there was a new flag. Built out of obsidian. So it couldn't be burnt. I felt angry at the flag, first of all if was ugly and second, there was no way to get rid of it. It was just there forever and I had to deal with it. I was mad as fuck, this entire place was driving me up the wall. It was all wrong but in the right ways. It all looked so much nicer and I didn't want it to be. I'd tricked myself into thinking Schlatt was bad and that he'd ruin the place but now it's crystal fucking clear that Wilbur and Tommy were holding this place back and now it's growing to its full potential. But... sometimes things shouldn't go to their full potential. They should stay comfortably at normal potential and be home. Manburg isn't home, Manburg is a full blown nation. L'manburg was home, it always was. 

I want my L'manburg. 


	9. Chapter 9

I don't feel good. My head has been hurting so much these past few days. It feels like it's being hit with a sledgehammer of a feeling I can't describe. It's a mix of anger, sadness, fear and hope all in one. I'm so so angry that Wilbur and Tommy are gone and that Schlatt has taken over. The sadness generally branches from the loneliness I'm feeling without Tommy here. I'm scared of what's going to happen, I'm scared that Manburg will be better than L'manburg and that everyone will not want it to go back to being home. I am however still hopeful that Manburg will just be better, Wilbur and Tommy will come back and this place will feel like home again, but I doubt those hopes will become reality. I have been going to Pogtopia to spend time there and hand over what little information I get, but those are short visits that are never really enough. I've had to do work for Schlatt to make Manburg look better. It does look better, and I don't want it to. It looks so good it makes me feel sick. It should only look good when it's Wilbur's L'manburg.

I walked to Pogtopia with no information, but a plan. I wanted Manburg to be fixed, quickly. 

I reached the dirt door to the cave as I had done so many times before and walked in, replacing the dirt behind me before continuing down the staircase. It was cold down here, so so cold, but what could you expect from a cave? I sat by the fire near the middle of the cave and waited for somebody to show face, the only person who appeared was Wilbur, the person I wanted. Good. "Hey, Wilbur, I actually wanted to talk to you because I had an idea." I said to him, standing up, though standing up didn't make a difference to how much I had to crane my neck up, really, as the man was quite tall. Wilbur looked interested so I explained my plan to him in as much detail as I could come up with so far: "I was thinking, that festival is soon, and typically for festivals you want make the place look good, right? It does look good, Wilbur, Manburg is beautiful. I don't think we want it to be beautiful because the nicer a place looks- the more likely people will want it to stay." I explained, Wilbur nodding along. "So I thought maybe at the festival we could- do something to make Manburg bad, or, even a step further.... we could get it gone." I spoke the last line much quieter than the rest, but I hoped Wilbur heard it so it could be gone. Wilbur was quiet for a minute then he spoke up "Are you saying we blow it up, Tubbo?" He looked wary, it was almost as if he was pending the idea of blowing up the nation he created. I nodded reluctantly, yes, I wanted it to be blown up, but I didn't want Wilbur to do it if he didn't want it to. The man looked me dead in the eyes and then glanced away for a second. "Tell me why we should blow it up." He asked of me so I explained: "Wilbur... don't you think we're, kind of, the bad guys? I mean, Schlatt was voted into power, not you and Tommy. They clearly don't want you- and for you to take it back through fighting it seems a bit evil, you know? Schlatt's made it beautiful, Schlatt's made it better-" I walked closer to Wilbur "And for us to take that back and just end up ruining it, I wouldn't want that. We'd end up with a revolution inside our own country, and as we of all people should know, revolutions only rise up when something bad. There's no revolution in Manburg." I knew I was lying just a bit, but I wanted it gone so bad I was willing to lie my ass off. "So I did think... if we blew it up then really nobody could complain, it'd just be gone" Wilbur seemed to be a bit scared at my response, understandably so, though. Despite that he agreed with me. I smiled a little, "Please don't tell Tommy I came up with the idea, no offence but I think he'd expect the idea more from you and he'd be gutted if he knew I was the one who wanted to blow it up." I thought for a moment "Schlatt said I was going to have a speech in the festival- we could do it when I finish that, and I'll just run." Wilbur agreed with me although he did seem to take just a little bit of offence to my first comment. He explained to me how Dream was allies with them now and he could probably get the TNT from him and he'd rig it as soon as he could, I'd be helping him of course, but I didn't mind. 


	10. Chapter 10

I haven't spoke to Tommy in ages. I have wanted to, but I've been far too busy. I've been setting up the TNT with Wilbur, setting up for the festival in general and really just trying to keep myself afloat amongst all the things drowning me. I've had to many messages from him asking to talk but I've never had the time.

'sorry tommy ive been busy i can talk today though i'll meet you at the bench as soon as you can get there'

I messaged him, seeing it be read straight away and not waiting for an answer and I started walking to the bench, I was incredibly excited, getting to see Tommy after this long would be great, although undoubtedly he wanted to talk to me about 'Wilbur's' plan. I'd have to pretend to be shocked, it'd be hard. He'd definitely end up indirectly insulting me, and I'd have to pretend not to be hurt.

Tommy was already at the bench when I got there, he was looking around impatiently and when he spotted me and he started walking to meet me halfway. He smiled, I did too, it was very nice to see each other again. We sat on the bench together. "Wilbur's fucking unhinged." Tommy said to me... yeah... yeah. I turned to look at him. "Why do you say that?" I asked, I mean, of course I knew the answer was the bombs, but I had to ask. "Tubbo- he wants to blow up L'-Manburg, and he says we're the bad ones, but we just aren't. He says- he says we can't even trust anyone, he even said Schlatt's good. He's completely off." Tommy explained to me. Somehow that hurt more, I hoped my look of general hurt could be played off as something to do with.. Wilbur. "He told me. He wants to do it during my speech at the festival and I guess I agree with him? I mean really it isn't up to me anyway, he'd blow it up one way or the other so I may as well make it easier." I confessed, Tommy looked at me with a betrayed sort of look. Ow. "Did you not try to make him not do it?" He asked me. "I would have if I could have, it would have been pointless to try." I didn't want to look him in the eyes, I didn't want to stare straight into his face and lie. I turned my head back towards the horizon and I closed my eyes. "Tubbo why do you just agree with Wilbur all the time? What do you really think? You can't really think blowing up the nation WE created is a good idea!" Tommy burst out after a long moment of silence. I glanced over at him before shrugging. "I trust Wilbur, I'm sure he knows what he's doing." I answered. Tommy looked away for a moment. "What if we just ran away? Then we wouldn't have to care about all this- it wouldn't affect us. Just us." I was very shocked at that question, it was very appealing, being with my best friend all the time, no Manburg, no caring. But... we couldn't just leave Wilbur alone, leave Wilbur to be betrayed by all the things he cared about. I may be 'unhinged' but I'm not evil. I shook my head gently "I really would like that, but we can't just leave Wilbur." I answered. "Why does it always have to be about Wilbur?" Tommy mumbled and I didn't bother answering. I pretended I didn't hear him. We sat in silence for a long time, which was weird for us, usually we'd be talking a lot. Yet the silence was comfortable. "This place is so lonely without you. Quiet, too." I spoke finally, Tommy laughed a little. "Yeah I miss you too, Tubbo." I smiled.

We sat talking on that bench for ages, sometimes not talking, but that was ok. I really only wanted the comfort of someone being there. We watched the sun set and then we parted ways. 


	11. Chapter 11

Finally. Finally the day has come. I've haven't even waited that long and yet it felt like forever. Walking through Manburg towards the festival felt like a final goodbye as I knew there was TNT under my feet everywhere I stepped. I usually do not like goodbyes, however this was the only one I was excited for.

Manburg looked beautiful on this... fine day. Everybody that was already there was laughing and enjoying themselves and that made me hate this place even more. 

The day went by slowly, with a few games in the boxing ring, dancing on party island and some fireworks being set off it was fun, but it would end soon. While people where distracted with whatever they decided to entertain themselves with, I found Wilbur and Tommy behind the LMFAO building. "Tubbo, I'm not sure I really want to do this." Wilbur confessed to me. 'What the fuck?' I thought to myself. He couldn't back out now, please god no. "You can't back out now, Wilbur. It's too late for that." I shoved him a little, not roughly but maybe enough to knock some sense back into him. Wilbur shot a look at me and I backed up a little. "Tubbo, are you happier in Manburg?" Tommy spoke up, he was sitting on the floor behind Wilbur, fidgeting with his sword and digging it into the ground. "No, of course I'm not. Not since you guys were here." I replied. Wilbur grabbed me by the shoulder "I want you to say the line in your speech if you want me to do it, and if you don't say it- I won't." he told me, it was almost as if he'd convinced himself I wouldn't say it, that I'd have a sudden change of heart and decide Manburg was the place of my dreams and I would be happy here for the rest of my life. I turned and left, ready to make my speech.

I stood up on that podium, listing to Schlatt talk some bullshit about how great he'd made this place- I wasn't really listening but I assumed that was what it was, when I heard my name and I brought my attention back, it was my turn to talk. I stepped up to the microphone and began my speech, I spoke my lies about how great Schlatt was until I finished the speech... "Let the Festival begin." Schlatt laughed a little, I was confused. He and Quackity began boxing me in, yellow concrete was around me and I could definitely tell this wasn't going to end well. I couldn't get out and fuck knows Wilbur was probably pressing the button by now. Schlatt called Technoblade up to the podium and he stood in front of me. "We don't do kindly to traitors here." Schlatt said and I realised that I was most likely going to be publicly executed. Fun... "Please Technoblade, If you would, take him out, kill him. Make it as painful as possible." Schlatt asked the pig man. Techno was extremely panicked, of course, he didn't want to kill me which would be a strange sight to see from the guy, his thing was killing people after all. Techno hit me with a pickaxe before switching to his crossbow. The hit of the pick hurt a lot but not more than this was going to. Techno loaded his crossbow with a firework and mumbled "I'm sorry" to me before shooting it not once, but twice. I was right. It did hurt. So so much. Nothing had ever hurt this much before. It was like a combination of being blown up, being set on fire and being shot with an arrow all at the same time- because after all it is all of those at the same time. I couldn't hear or see at all until I woke up in my bed, I didn't really get time to recover because undoubtedly that would not be the last conflict of the day.

I walked out of the tunnels and into Manburg, I stood staring at the podium, not many people were there anymore, worse Manburg itself was still there. Why? Why was Wilbur letting me down like this? Suddenly Tommy appeared out of nowhere and grabbed me by the wrist, dragging me to Pogtopia in silence. When we got there Wilbur, Techno and Niki were already there. I stared at Wilbur but he ignored me. I heard Tommy yelling and I turned my gaze to Techno, who Tommy was yelling at. Tommy was quite clearly very angry and Wilbur stepped between them. "Tommy you're talking for Tubbo a bit much here, let him say what he thinks." Will said and Tommy backed up a little, everybody looked at me and I didn't like it. "Well I'm clearly not happy either I got shot with a fucking firework, Wilbur and as far as I'm aware-" I got cut off by Tommy going back to his yelling but I shot Will another look to tell him what I was about to say without even talking. Wilbur started digging a pit off to the side in the walls of Pogtopia and requested that Techno and Tommy fight it out instead of yelling and wrecking our heads. They both agreed and stepped down into the pit, they started hitting each other but Tommy obviously lost. Techno climbed out "It stays in the pit." he muttered before going to stand in a corner and Tommy climbed out about a minute later after regaining himself.

I'm so mad. Today went so wrong. I turned to Wilbur and started my own yelling. "Why the fuck is Manburg still intact?" I asked, walking closer to him. "I lost the button-" he tried to reason before I cut him off "Then find it. I don't want to see that shitty place ever again and you forgetting where the fucking button is is not making that any easier because the next time I see Manburg I will be blowing it up myself and destroying the rest with my bare fucking hands so find. the. button." Everyone stared at me but I was way too mad to care. "It was... your idea to blow up Manburg?" Tommy asked me and I turned my head sharply "Yes! It was! I'm sick of how good it looks, I'm sick of how it's going to turn people who we thought were our friends against us because they think it has improved. I'm sick of having to pretend I didn't burn that fucking flag down." I huffed. "I'm sick of being alone." I slid on to the floor and placed my head in my hands and just sat there, staring at the floor holding back tears. 

I didn't want to look into any of their faces, I didn't want them looking at me, I just wanted to hide from the world for a while. 


	12. Chapter 12

The only person who has spoken to me these past few days is Tommy. He hasn't left me alone, really. I know he feels betrayed by me and that's what makes me feel so sorry. It's like he's forcing himself to talk to me so that I am not alone, since he knows that's what scares me. I won't say I don't like having him there, but it just feels like I'm a duty, something he has to watch over, I don't like being treated like a dangerous thing that needs to be watched over or else something bad will happen. That's what it's like. I do almost wish I was alone just for a while so I could prove I don't need constant supervision. Yet I know I do need the supervision, because I am probably a dangerous thing that needs to be watched over or else something bad will happen, I'm unhinged, just like Tommy said when he thought he was describing Wilbur so long ago when we were at the bench.

I'm just broken.

All I want is for this all to end- I don't think I'll be satisfied with getting L'Manburg back. If L'Manburg comes back then I'm left with the judging stares of who were my best friends, staring at me because I'm the unhinged boy who tried to destroy their home. Instead of getting L'Manburg back it need to all go away. 

There will be no staring if they are dead.

It all feels funny to me. At the start I just wanted L'Manburg back so I could feel at home again. But now I want to destroy any kind of home I would have had. Very funny indeed. Maybe when it's gone I can pretend nothing bad ever happened and I won't have any guilt. No remorse. No memories. I can just forget it all and go live somewhere far away and stay around the things that make me happy. Yeah... yeah. 


	13. Chapter 13

They all still want to take the place back without blowing it up. I don't really have a choice, do I? Doomed to fight for something I wish to destroy it's in some way ironic. Maybe. 

So many people are on our side now it's very different than that day where I farmed potatoes until I fell asleep in the dirt. In a way I feel like I was wrong. My motive had always been that people would turn against us and that our L'Manburg would be gone so we'd install the idea of 'if I can't have it, nobody can.' But at this point so many people are here it'd be cruel to take this place away from them. I am cruel. You can't be unhinged without having a little bit of cruelty, right?

I do make sure to equip myself with armour, I don't really feel like dying today, it would be inconvenient. 

I won't say I'm excited for this little war, because after all I may not end up being able to even set the TNT off. It may just be for nothing and I just have to, I suppose, succumb to mania. I'd certainly succumb anyway, it's inevitable, it's like an illness, once it gets you it'll just sit in your body until it slowly worsens and you're just gone. It can lead you to think about if you had just been a bit more careful, you wouldn't have caught that illness and you'd still be happily living your, spending it with your friends and family until you eventually die at an old age, having living you life to the fullest and not having had to end it early because of a few foolish mistakes.

All of us. All of those on Pogtopia's side. We're here on Eret's tower, we're starting- now. War. Again. I draw my bowing start aiming shots at our enemies below. We all fire continuously until they start to fall back, we pursue them until Dream surrenders. He surrenders. Yet for some reason we have to follow him to the ruins of the carmarvan. Schlatt is in there, he's on the floor. He doesn't look good, no, not at all. Last time I saw the guy he was instructing Technoblade to shoot me through the chest and now I feel like I could be the one instructing, he looks so weak, like a ruined little mass of something that's barely alive. Maybe he does need to just die, we could end his suffering, as he clearly is. There's some yelling before Tommy sticks his crossbow between Schlatt's eyes, everything is a bit more quiet after that and I can actually pay attention without wanting to cover my eyes and curl into a ball. Tommy fires the crossbow and Schlatt drops from his slouched sitting position to flop a mere few inches to lay on the floor in death. But it's okay. He'll be back.

Right?

I suppose the surrender of Dream means that we won the war. There is no need for anything else to happen, except for things to return to normal. We sit in front of the podium where I have a good few times before, not only whenever there would be announcements. I stare at the flag for a moment and I remember that this isn't the end. It's not all done yet. Wilbur goes up on to the podium- he stands in the spot I stood before I was struck by that firework. I wonder for a moment what it would have been like to watch it happen. Wilbur begins to speak "We did it, we fucking did it!" he spoke out seemingly relieved at something. Seemingly thinking it was safe. "L'Manburg has returned!" he finished, smiling happily, as if nothing had ever happened. 

I slipped away from my seat trying not to be noticed and made my way to the room Wilbur and I had made with the button in it. I had etched on to the walls the lyrics of the anthem we had made together, high from the adrenaline of revolution. I stared at the button placed on the wall. All I had to do was press it and it would finally be done- it wouldn't be able to plague my mind again. My illness could be cured. I stood in front of the button just staring straight at it, hesitating. "Tubbo." I heard a voice quietly behind me, I turned quickly and saw Tommy, I panicked a lot, I knew if anyone could convince me not to press it, it would be him. So do you know what I did..?

I payed no more attention to the taller boy behind me and I pressed the button as quickly as I could, I stepped back so I was nearly beside him. I watched as parts of the land in front of me disappeared almost like magic. I smiled, finally. Finally it's gone. I couldn't help but fall to the ground, laughing all the laughs I could, because it was funny.

I was pulled up from the ground by Tommy, he stared me in the eyes and started yelling at me, I ignored the shouts from him, I don't care anymore. Nothing matters anymore. Anything that would have mattered is gone and that's the best way it can be.

"You fucked up."

I hear before feeling a sharp pain in my chest. "I suppose I did." I mutter out before collapsing just how Schlatt did. But it's okay. I'll be back.

Right? 


	14. Chapter 14

**[Tommy's POV]**

I stare down at Tubbo where he was laying on the ground, lifeless, finally free from himself. Did I really do that? I really shoved a sword straight into my best friend's chest without allowing him an explanation or anything. I pulled the sword out and looked at L'Manburg from the hole in the room the explosion had created. Was everyone else gone? It seemed too empty. Am I alone now? Have I just doomed myself to be alone? Alone like Tubbo was in Manburg. The same loneliness that drove him to the madness to destroy it all. 

It hurts. 


	15. alt. ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tubbo doesn't die and instead regrets what he did.
> 
> **[TW] for negative thoughts to himself**

All you have to do is press it. All you have to do is press it. Yeah. Yeah. Do it. Go on. Press it. You aren't scared. Press it.

I am scared.

Why do I need to press it?

_Just do it. There's no time like the present. You've waited so long don't fuck it up._

My hand grazes over the button and I step back. The land disappears before my very eyes. Home is gone. All those memories are fucked. This isn't what I wanted. This isn't what I pictured in my head. I thought that it would feel better but it doesn't. It feels like I've been betrayed by myself. I have. 

_Why would you do that?_

_Nobody can enjoy L'Manburg anymore. It is gone._

_Because of you._

_Do you feel proud of yourself?_

_You're selfish._

_You wanted everything turn out right for yourself and didn't consider how you would effect anyone else._

_You're a monster._

_Evil._

_Pure evil._

I guess I am evil. I am cruel. I am selfish. I'm not proud of myself. I'm bad. I'm a fuck up. 

_You were everyone's friend. The helpful naïve little boy with a heart of gold._

_Nobody would expect this of you._

_You tricked them all into thinking you were good, only for you to stab them in the back and destroy their home._

I continue staring at the wreckage, agreeing with everything my mind tells me I've done wrong. I have done wrong, it isn't wrong. It hasn't said even one lie. I know it hasn't. Because nothing false would hurt.

It hurts. 


	16. alt. ending again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo doesn't blow up l'manberg 

I've been standing in front of this button longer than I would like to. If I stand here any longer I'll miss my chance entirely. I stare at the words on the walls until I've read them all- the song playing in my head very loudly, I couldn't hear anything actually happening. Have you ever felt that?

I turn my attention back to the button in the middle of the wall and reach for it. "Please don't do this." I hear from behind me. It was Tommy- I mustn't have heard him come in because I couldn't hear. I don't turn to face him because I don't want to. "Why do I need to stop? it'd all be solved if it was gone. Even better is that if I don't do it- I'm going to have to live with everyone staring at me like I'm a ticking time bomb-" I then did turn "and they wouldn't be wrongs the best part." Tommy sighed and walked closer to me. "Think about how hard we fought to get this nation. it's our home. You aren't alone anymore. We're all here and we can fix it. Nobody is angry at you. They all understand and we all want to help you." He pulled me into a hug "Just please don't."

I broke the button.

It's gone.

I suppose Tommy was right. It can all be fixed. We can all just forget that anything happened and live the rest of our lives in blissful ignorance.

At least until that manic illness comes back. 


End file.
